


I Can See The Light

by aintweproudriff



Series: Race, Spot, Albert, and Elmer [5]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Elmer volunteers at a children's hospital, M/M, Mentions of surgery, Multi, Title from Carols for a Cure 2016, he loves the kids a whole lot, its a Christmas fic but the first chapter is not christmassy, mentions of neglect kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-17 18:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13082361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintweproudriff/pseuds/aintweproudriff
Summary: Prompt: Elmer is a volunteer at a Children's Hospital over the Christmas season"Break your heart for the people. Spread a little love for those who need it"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if you headcannon these characters as Jewish or otherwise non-Christmas celebrating. (I think as far as canon goes it's up to interpretation, but I could be wrong). Also the first chapter is not Christmas at all, so there's that. Finally, I know very little about hospitals, so this is kinda my best guess. 
> 
> (for elmerspape)

Elmer hated hospitals. The smell, the feel, the food, the knowledge that around every corner, someone was in the worst pain they’d ever felt. He hated that there were so many people losing loved ones in the same building where babies were being born. It didn’t feel right, for one reason or another. He couldn’t stand the way that people hurt in hospitals, emotionally and physically.  
That was why, he supposed, he spent much of his free time in a hospital. If you really hate pain, he reasoned, the best way to combat it is to bring happiness. Hating something does no good; it’s when you do something that what you hate goes away. Of course, he still couldn’t deal with the knowledge that in hospitals, death was as common as birth. Plus, he wasn’t so good with talking to adults. Old people seemed to think he was annoying or just a stupid kid. Who he could deal with, though, was children. Kids loved him, and he was good at talking to them and thinking the way that they wanted him to think. Kids were joyful, even if they were in painful or bad situations, and Elmer liked to believe that he was the same way. So, once he started volunteering at the city’s children’s hospital, he just never stopped. 

“Hi, Anna,” he smiled at the lady working the front desk. “How are you?”

“Elmer, hi,” she smiled warmly back at him as he picked up a pen and signed in. “I’m doing okay. But, uh, I think the kids are who you want to be talking to, right? I mean, I’ve heard a couple of different kids ask the nurses when you’re coming in.”

Elmer set down the pen and touched his hand to his heart. “That is so cute,” he whispered, biting his lip to keep from smiling too wide.

“They love you,” she shrugged, her eyes playful.

Elmer laughed and began to get on his way. “Thanks, Anna. Have a great day.”

“You too!” she called after him, and he waved behind him as he walked away. 

He began to make his way from room to room, popping in to see if the kids or parents were up for talking and playing games.   
Halfway down his first hallway, one of the nurses flagged him down. 

“Oh, Elmer, I’m glad you’re here,” he grabbed Elmer’s arm. “We’ve got a kid who is about to go in for surgery,” he explained. “He won’t go, and no one can change his mind. But you might be able to do it. Do you mind?”

“Yeah, of course,” Elmer nodded, and the nurse looked relieved. “Who is it?”

“Nicholas.”

“Oh, okay.” Elmer remembered seeing Nicholas a few days ago. “Yeah, let’s go see him. This way?” He pointed down the hallway. 

“Yeah.”

He and the nurse walked quickly down the hall, towards the boy. 

-

Nicholas’s springy blond hair was matted against his forehead, pressed there by his mother’s chest and held there by sweat. When he pulled away to see who had entered, Elmer could see that a spot on his mother’s white shirt was soaked through with tears. 

“Hey, Nicky,” Elmer bent down to look in his eyes. They were bloodshot: wide and terrified. “How do you feel?”

“I’m scared,” Nicholas shook his head. “And my tummy really hurts. I don’t wanna do this, it’s making mama sad” he sobbed. 

“I know, I know, buddy.” Elmer took Nicholas’s hand. “How much does your tummy hurt? Did the nurses already ask you that?”

Nicholas nodded, tears continuing to well up in his eyes. Elmer glanced up and saw that his mother, who was still holding Nicholas tightly, was softly weeping as well. He nodded at her, attempting now to reassure both of them as best as he could. 

“And what did you say?” he whispered.

“I said it was a nine,” Nicholas’s lip quivered, and his mother whimpered quietly. 

“That does really hurt then, huh?” Elmer squeezed his friend’s little hand. “You know that doing this is going to help though, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I know you’re scared. But if you weren't scared, then you couldn’t be brave, right?”

Nicholas pondered this. “I- I guess so.”

“And you need to be brave in order to do this,” Elmer nodded solemnly. “Can you do that?”

The little boy hesitated. 

“Can you be brave for me and for your mama?”

He sniffed and nodded shakily. 

Elmer smiled. “That’s a good boy. Can you go with this nurse now?”

The same nurse who came to get Elmer took Nicholas’s hand, leading him away. 

“Thank you,” whispered the mother. Her voice was hoarse, coated with tears. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” Elmer reached out and hugged her briefly before leaving. 

-

He didn’t like to think about it too much when there were kids who had been in the hospital for months. Those kids didn’t need him feeling sorry for them. They needed a friend. 

“Elmie!” he heard a tiny voice call his name as soon as he poked his head through the door.

“Hi Julie!” he laughed, bending forward to see her face. He stepped up to the side of the bed, and she instantly moved to hide herself in her mounds of pillows and blankets. 

“Huh! Where’d you go?” he acted surprised and patted on the covers as if looking for her. A giggle from under the covers was enough to tell him exactly where she was, but he made a humming noise. “I dunno where Julie is,” he said, sounding a little lost. “Guess I’ll never find her. Or give her a hug.” He sat down on the bed. 

A screeching sound burst into the room as Julie pulled her covers back, shouting at him. 

“There you are!” Elmer reached for her and she leaned in, pressing her head into his chest. “Hi, sweet girl,” he chuckled and stood up. 

“How do you feel today?” he asked her, walking to the window and pulling open the heavy curtains. Sunlight streamed into the room, making Julie blink. 

“My legs hurt a lot,” she admitted, her ‘r’ sounds sounding a little bit like ‘w’s. “And I still can’t move this one,” she put a hand on her left leg. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Elmer breathed. “But, uh, how do you feel?” he put extra stress on his last word as he sat down again. 

“Oh. I’m not very happy, I think. Mommy hasn’t been here for a while.”

“And how long is a while? Was she here yesterday?”

Julie shook her head.

“I’m sorry, girlie. That isn’t easy. But you know what?” Elmer raised his chin.

“What?”

“Your mommy loves you,” he smiled, poking her stomach and eliciting a giggle. “She loves you so so so much. She’s just-”

“Working. I know.”

Elmer nodded, unable to veil how sad he felt for this girl. 

“Hey,” he poked her again. “Let’s play a game, okay?”

Julie nodded excitedly, and Elmer opened the cabinet that held all of Julie’s books.

“Let’s play the dress up one!” he heard her call, and he grabbed a game off of the shelf. 

“This one?” Elmer held out a board game. On the lid was a girl who looked like a knock off Barbie doll, surrounded by clothes and jewelry.

“Yeah, yeah!” she said eagerly, and Elmer smiled, sitting down again and opening up the game. 

-

By the time he left Julie’s room, he had already been at the hospital for almost an hour longer than he had planned. He sent a text to the groupchat he had with Spot, Race, and Albert to tell them that he was going to be late, and then kept making his rounds, popping his head into any room that had an open door. 

Just as he was about to head back downstairs and check out, the nurse from earlier waved him over. 

“Nicholas is out of surgery,” he rested his hand on Elmer’s shoulder. “Do you wanna-”

“Yeah, of course. Did it all go okay?”

“Perfectly,” the nurse smiled. “Nicholas only needs a few days to recover, and then he’ll be out.” he said as they walked down the hallway. 

“Hey Nicholas,” Elmer whispered as he stepped into the room. Nicholas laid on the bed, his eyes half closed in sleep. “I heard you were a real champ for the surgery.”

Nicholas smiled and mumbled something that sounded like, “yeah,” before closing his eyes all the way and drifting off. 

“I’m glad it all went well,” Elmer touched the mother’s arm lightly. “He’s a really good kid.”

“Thank you again,” she said. “I don’t know what we would have done if it wasn’t for you.” The tears on her face were long gone, but her eyes were still red with lack of sleep. 

-

Her words rang in his head as he went home, the sky nearly dark. He’d stayed at the hospital for almost five hours, way longer than he was supposed to. He didn’t mind, though, because he had helped at least Nicholas and his family, not to mention Julie and any of the other kids he talked to. It was the best feeling, he thought. To know that he had fought what he hated and made life easier for others was all he could ask for. 

“How was the hospital?” Race asked as soon as he walked into the tiny dorm room. 

“It was good,” Elmer flopped down on the couch. “Is that Chinese food?” 

“Yeah, here,” Spot passed him some. “Good how?”

Elmer grinned and stuffed his mouth full of food. “Oh, those kids are so cute,” he laughed. “Some of them call me Elmie, how precious is that?”

Albert chuckled. “Should we call you that too?”

A flying pillow was Albert’s answer, and the laughs that followed were telling to Elmer that the three of them had every intention of using the new nickname against him. He laughed along with them, already feeling himself grow tired.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay you nerds. Merry Christmas, thank you for being so incredibly kind to me.

“So we’re agreed?” Spot looked around the room. “We’re all doing Christmas Eve with our own, separate families, and then Christmas morning is together.”

“That sounds really good,” Race stretched himself over the couch in Spot and Elmer’s dorm room, a lazy smile on his face. 

“I like that,” Elmer nodded.   
He had been a little nervous for the first Christmas he’d spend with his boyfriends. There was a lot of worry about what to get for each of them, if they’d like the way he had decorated the dorm room, and if they’d be okay with spending such an important day with him and not with their families. But they’d all elected to stay in the dorms over break, even if it meant paying extra. As Albert had put it: “You guys are my family too.” Elmer had laughed, grateful. And they had all decorated the dorm room, choosing to get a little Christmas tree for Elmer and Spot’s room. Each of them had made sure to ask for their favorite ornaments when they had gone home for Thanksgiving, and they’d brought them here to decorate the tree. None of the ornaments coordinated with each other, of course. Spot and Albert had both been forced to take their family’s excess Christmas lights, too, so there were strands of those on the walls. Only one was multi-colored and one was candy canes, so the whole room looked a mess. Spot hated the way it looked, but Elmer poked him every time he complained and said it looked cute. It looked horrible, obviously, but Elmer loved it.   
But he still had this pit in his stomach. This was the first time they’d been dating him at Christmas, and he was terrified that they had traditions, jokes and gifts that he wouldn’t understand. More than that, he was nervous that they wouldn’t be open to what he wanted to do on Christmas morning. 

“I, uh, was wondering though,” he bit his lip and ran his hand up and down the blanket he sat on. “I usually go to the Children’s hospital on Christmas morning. I’ve gone since I was like, sixteen, and I don’t wanna stop going now. It’s a big deal to those kids to see a friendly face, and I like to bring them little presents when I can.”

“Oh.” Albert’s shoulders fell. “So will you still be here to like, open presents with us?”

“Well, my family used to either open presents without me, when my sister was little enough that it mattered to my mom to do it on Christmas morning. But after she turned ten, the three of us started doing presents the night of Christmas day. But I actually was wondering if-” Elmer shook his head. “I mean, you probably wouldn’t want to. But I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

The three of his boyfriends looked at each other, and Elmer hoped that their smiles were good. 

“That sounds fun, yeah,” Race nodded, sitting up to look at Elmer.

“Really?” 

“Sure. You could always use more money for those Christmas presents, right?” Spot laughed.

“Well, yeah,” Elmer admitted tentatively. “I mean, that’s not why I’m inviting you, but that would be helpful.”

“I know,” Spot laughed. “It sounds like fun, El. I’d love to go.”

“Albert, you too?”

“Yes, of course. If it’s where you’re spending Christmas, it’s where i’m spending Christmas.”

Race mimed choking. “That was disgusting. Get your romance away from me, you two.”

Albert threw a pillow from Spot’s bed at Race. “Shut up, it’s Christmas.”

-

On Christmas day, the four of them stepped through glass sliding doors into the warm, brightly lit lobby. Huge Christmas trees, decked in beautiful red baubles and yellow lights nearly touched the ceiling, and a faint smell of fir mingled with the scent of the hospital, barely enough to make it smell festive and not like sanitizing spray. Instrumental Christmas songs played from the front desk. 

“Hey, Anna,” Elmer stepped up to the front desk. “Merry Christmas!” 

“Elmer, it’s good to see you,” she smiled, passing him the pen. “Who’s this?” Anna pointed at the boys behind him. 

“These are my boyfriends,” Elmer turned around slightly. “Spot, Race, and Albert. They’re here to help me today. They wanted to see what I do here, and Christmas is the best day to do it.” The huge smile on his face never faltered. 

“Are these the boys you liked so much in high school?” Anna clapped her hands.

Elmer gasped, and his smile grew fake. “Yes. They are. Are we good to go now?”

“Yeah,” she giggled and nodded at the blush on his face. The Santa hat she wore jiggled on her head. “Merry Christmas, Elmer!”

He waved back at her and ushered his laughing boyfriends away from the front desk. 

“Did everyone know you liked us?” Albert asked, his dimple mocking Elmer. 

“Can we just,” Elmer sighed, defeated. “Can we just get going?”

“Let’s go see those kids!” Race straightened up, nodding excitedly. 

“Okay. But first,” Elmer fished in the huge bag he held, full of presents for kids. Each of the boys held one, but Elmer’s was by far the biggest. He pulled out four Santa hats, and held them out. “Put these on. It’s tradition,” he explained. “Plus you’ll look cute in them.” 

With minimal grumbling, Spot put his on. Race and Albert laughed at him, and then diligently did the same. 

“Hm,” Elmer mused, looking at them. “You do look really cute.” He put on his own, and smiled. “Are we ready to go?”

They nodded, and set off down the hallway. 

-

A stuffed animal for Philip. His mom was the only one in the room, her head in her hands when they walked in. Philip had still been sleeping, but she woke him up. 

“Pip,” she whispered. “Wake up. It’s Santa.”

His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled. “Santa?”

“Hi Philip,” Elmer whispered. “Merry Christmas.”

“What do you say, baby?” his mom asked him. 

“Thank you, Santa,” he mumbled, and rolled over, falling back asleep, the new puppy in his arms. 

“Thank you so much,” she smiled at the boys, standing up and walking over to them. “With his bills this year, Santa wasn’t going to be able to come. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Elmer put a hand on her shoulder. “I love doing this.”

“I know I’ve seen you before,” she pointed at Elmer. “But I don’t think I’ve met any of these boys. Brothers?” she asked, opening her hand to the three behind Elmer.

Elmer chuckled uncomfortably. “No, no. Not brothers. These are, uh,” he paused. It was Christmas, and he’d just brought her son a present. Surely she’d be nice to them, no matter what she thought. “These are my boyfriends.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “I’m sorry.” She looked at Spot, Race, and Albert. “This boy,” she didn’t look away from Spot, but pointed at Elmer, “is a good man. You’re very lucky that he cares so much about other people.”

“We think so too, ma’am,” Spot answered. “We’re grateful that he’s so incredible.”

She nodded, and ushered them out of the room so that her son could sleep.

-

A book for Emma. She had a crowd of people around her, friends and family all there for her Christmas. Elmer pushed Albert forward, holding the present. 

“Merry Christmas,” he smiled and handed it to her. 

Her smile reflected off the shiny cover of the old classic, and the whole room lit up. 

“Thank you,” she looked up at Albert, and he turned around back to his boyfriends, walking a little lighter than he had before. 

-

Elmer would have made one of his boyfriends do the next room, but it was too important to him. He peeked into the room to see if she was awake, and heard his name called. 

“Elmie?” he heard his boyfriends giggle, but brushed it off. 

“Good morning, Julie!” he stepped into the room. “Merry Christmas!”

“You look like Santa!” she giggled, and he opened his mouth.

“Am I really that fat?”

“No!” 

“Okay good,” he ruffled her hair. “But I am kinda Santa, because I have something for you.”

“A present!” she sat up, and he laughed. 

Elmer turned around to look at the boys behind him, who were all watching him. 

“Do you see why I love her so much?” he asked them, grinning. They smiled back. 

“Do you see why we love you so much?” Race asked back, and Elmer blushed. 

“Here you go,” he said turning around. It was the only present he’d taken the time to wrap. “Just for you, kiddo.”

She tore off the wrapping quickly. “It’s a dress up game for the computer!” she smiled, and ran her fingers over the girl on the cover. “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome, Julie,” he hugged her gently, and she leaned into him. “I have to go be Santa for some other kids now, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

She nodded, and Elmer hugged her again. 

Once the four of them were back in the long hallway, Spot tapped Elmer on the shoulder, and pressed himself against Elmer to ask him quietly: “Where are her parents?”

Elmer breathed slowly. “They’ll be here,” he looked at Spot, but none of his boyfriends could have missed the concerned look in his eyes. “I know they’ll show up. It’ll be okay.”

-

The hallway eventually led to another hallway, then another. But finally, there were no more rooms to visit, and the four boys were too tired to have done any more anyway. They walked from decorated hallways to barren staircases, and back to the hospital entryway. 

“Elmer!” he heard a voice shout. Anna was waving at him, and she pointed to the grand piano in the corner. “We just got it set up.”

Elmer shook his head. “How convenient is that, huh?” he whispered, shooting a friendly glare at Anna, who shrugged and gestured for him to move over to it. He sighed and did as she wanted. 

“El?” Race began, but Anna ran over and shushed him. 

Elmer sat down on the bench and laid his hands on the keys. Slowly he began to play a song, and he could almost hear Anna’s smile from behind him. 

“Christmas future is far away,” he sang, his voice now the loudest sound in the lobby. Anna had stopped the music that was playing earlier, “Christmas past is past.”

Anna joined in. 

“Christmas present is here to stay, bringing joy that will last.”

Race joined in. 

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas.”

Spot and Elmer joined in.

“Let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.”

They kept singing, and as Elmer looked around, he could have sworn that the lights on the trees were brighter. Maybe he was just tired from talking to so many people. Maybe his boyfriend’s voices, happy and festive, tricked his brain. The warmth in his toes and stomach spread through his fingers as he played, and he grinned. 

The song ended eventually, and Elmer took a deep breath. 

“I didn’t know you could do that!” Race hit his shoulder, and Elmer shrugged.

“He used to do it all the time,” Anna explained. “I don’t know why he doesn’t anymore.”

“I don’t know either,” Albert looked at him. 

“I just don’t have a piano nearby,” Elmer shrugged, and stood up. “Good to see you, Anna,” he smiled and hugged her before turning back to Spot, Race, and Albert. “Should we get going to do Christmas of our own?”

Spot nodded, and the four made their way back to the door. But when they passed the front desk, Anna made a ‘psst’ sound, causing Elmer to look back at her. 

“Look up!” she whispered, and he did. And then he looked back at her, annoyed. She grinned, knowing exactly what she was doing. Race had stopped too, and looked up. 

“I like this one,” he pointed at Anna, and leaned in to kiss the blushing Elmer. “Hey!” he shouted at Spot and Albert. “Get back over here! There’s mistletoe!”

Spot and Albert looked at each other, then at Race, and they walked back dutifully. Elmer looked back at Anna after kissing each boyfriend, and she laughed. 

“I hate you,” he mouthed at her. 

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” Elmer laughed, letting Race slip his hand into his. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Merry Christmas, Elmer!”

“Merry Christmas!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that! I love Christmas so much, so this was a fun excuse to listen to Christmas music and write.   
> (also anna is all of us, right?)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought and come talk to me on tumblr @spot-and-all-his-cronies!


End file.
